Starting My Life Over..

Starting my life over...

Sometimes in life things happen and they can be very tiny things, or they can be very large things. We never know when these things are going to occur, Where we are going to be, or what is going to happen to us exactly.   

Starting your life over can be a big or small step no matter how you look at it.  It really is a big step to say "I am starting over" , But its the small steps that get us there.  So many of you wonder why I want to start over.. I can say this for positive.. I don't want to change everything, I don't want to change anything with my three beautiful children.

What I can say is that certain things happened In the time frame from When we landed for April's Florida trip and came home and worse after ( please know I am not speaking of April's surgery) that changed a lot for me. I have been asked why I'm now using Seyfried as my last name by several people and the answer is because I am not staying married.

God guided me to find the truth out one day... And I mean the whole truth !!! It was something I was more than shocked by... I don't even have words for it but I press on.  I keep moving and nothing will push me down again, I won't let it !!  So I am starting my life over now !

How do I go about this ?  That is a great question, I asked myself that same question so many times.. and i realized its a matter of not looking back.. not looking back at the bad things in the past or the good things even.  I am looking at what i have right now and I am happy with my life because i am not being hurt.  This is the first time i have ever said "I am starting over".  Many other times i said  I give up, or something else however not this time.. I have taken the right steps this time and its hard to explain how i did that..

What have i done different is:

• Thought more of myself.. I know i am worth more than what i was getting.
• Got a hobby I love, My jewelry.. And it helps my nerves and it is enjoyable
• My kiddos.. We are different now.. how do i explain this, They can express themselves to me now and it is different is such a wonderful way. 
• I am living life to the fullest (as much as possible) in the way I want to, not the way someone else wants to.. Or wants me to

So yes i am doing this and even though what happened was a blow to my mind I am okay.. Did i cry? No.. Sounds crazy i know.. See  i have been put through so much already and this is just something that is in my book UNFORGIVABLE.. Its not something to cry over, Not something i got sad over, or even disappointed over.  I got mad is what i did.. I think if i looked in the mirror my face looked like a hot red cherry tomato.. Yes MAD !!  But i took the right course of action.. 

This being said.. I am using Seyfried as my last name and that is what it will remain.. It is not because I am with all this feminist stuff or anything like that.. its not because i want people to guess, it is because I don't want that other last name.. 

I hope everyone out there that is not happy turns their life around.. It can be hard but after you do it you can be a lot happier !! That is how i feel.. One last note :  If a voice in your head tells you to do something, listen to it.. Trust me.. Its guiding you to something important.. 

God Bless All 

Debbie

Standing up for others with disabilities

     There are millions and millions of people in this world living with disabilities and many of them hate to even say that they have one, Some can't help it because it shows and I know many people that know they have one but are still in denial of it.  I have a disabilities and I let them shine through because they are what defines me, what makes me up, and what have actually made me the person I am today.  I always say to myself and i have told others this too, If they don't like me, or can't accept who i am, there is the door and don't let it hit you on the way out.
   
      Many People it is not that easy for, I totally understand that because it wasn't for me in a very long time.  I had to admit to myself that, Yes i have these problems, I am going to have them most likely the rest of my life and This Is ME !!  We all have to learn something and that is how to stick up for the children and adults that are being hurt because of their disabilities.  I have seen some examples of people doing this and I Love it.. We are all one as a country.. No different no matter what is wrong with one, but the way I look at it is that we are not different, we are equal and we are all the same.

     Here is a wonderful story of how just one person can help and has helped already..   Kelvin Moon Loh , A Broadway Star was doing a show (the king and I) and a woman brought her autistic child to see the show with her.  Well it didn't go well and people were very rude to the mother saying different things and even though she was trying to keep her child quiet it wasn't working. ( Now if you think about this, If he could hear from the stage what these people were saying.. They had to be speaking pretty loud. )   Kelvin wanted to do something so he made a post on facebook on Sept 23rd 2015 and it told his exact feelings in it.  Good for him for doing this because what he did write really needed to be said !  Here is the link to the article below.

http://www.scarymommy.com/broadway-star-defends-mom-who-brought-autistic-child-to-show/
   
      I personally think there needs to be more people willing to do this, willing to put themselves out there to stand up to others and show how they feel.. I want to share with you some facts on people with disabilities.. Did you know 2/3 of British people feel uncomfortable talking to people with disabilities ?  Also still 1/5 of 18-34 year old people have admitted they have avoided talking to a person with a disability altogether because they are afraid they may say the wrong thing.

     Yes those are statistic's but there still there and large numbers.. If your reading this and you don't have a disability then I want you to know that, I have a seizure disorder and also have Tourette Syndrome.  When someone hears the word tourettes they automatically say to me "Do you swear a lot" No I don't.. But make me mad and i will, lol .. I actually don't have that type but I do know a few people that do and it is fine, because i get that they can't help it.  My daughters have some disabilities and they actually handle them well..

• Joy my oldest is 16 and can be quite a challenge sometimes but that is because of these disorders, let me explain her disabilities to you..

                 1 -  Tourette Syndrome - Joy's tourette's are not being controlled by medications at this time because  her medicine she was on wasn't helping her so the Dr. said stop it and she is going to a new neurologist at the movement disorder clinic in Albany so hopefully they can figure out a better medicine for her.  Joy does have a very mild for of the swearing with her tourettes.  The actual name for when you have the swearing is called " Coprolalia "  Not many people know this unfortunately.
               
                2- Bi-Polar Disorder - She is on a med for this and it is helping her, I believe this is why her moods go from happy to sad in second but i have taught her breathing to help it.

• April is my 14 year old and the middle child.. She has a more sever disability and if you are a friend of mine you do know that for sure.

                1 - Chiari Malformation. This is a difficult one to describe so i will leave a link for it but normally with Chiari you need 1 maybe 2 brain surgeries, but April has had to have 5 so far.  This first link is a link to a page I made about all the surgeries and other stuff April has been through so far,  

https://www.facebook.com/aprilschiaribattle?fref=ts

                 This next links are pages on Chiari Malformation it gives pretty good information.  Most likely better than i could describe :

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chiari-malformation/basics/definition/con-20031115

     Well I may have got of track a bit but i have always told my kids these things when they get upset about having "something wrong with them" or "being not normal"  as they used to put it and still do very rarely.. 

1. There is nothing wrong with you , You are special because those other people dont' have this.
2. Educate people like i try to do, Explain to them what you have and how it makes you feel. Try to make them understand
3. You may not see it but you may be more normal than they are..
4. Put a smile on that beautiful face and go out and face that world head on, don't let anyone or anything hold you back.. You shine !
5. Stand up for your friends or even other kids you see getting picked on if they are getting picked on, that makes you the bigger person, not the looser.

I wish every person would go by #5.. I do it whenever i see it happen.. I don't care if people want to say something to me or tell me to butt out.. I refuse to see anyone get picked on and I wont.. We live in America and that is my Freedom of Speech that I want to use and I will use it wisely !!  I hope we can take care of each other more and more A Simple Random Act Of Kindness goes a Long Way.. 

As i say that about Random acts of Kindness.. I will leave you with a beautiful link that shows a beautiful act of kindness.. God bless you all !

http://themighty.com/2015/09/deputys-simple-act-of-kindness-towards-man-with-disabilities-caught-on-camera/

Have a wonderful and Blessed Day.. 

Debbie 

https://www.facebook.com/debra.seyfried