Starting My Life Over..

Starting my life over...

Sometimes in life things happen and they can be very tiny things, or they can be very large things. We never know when these things are going to occur, Where we are going to be, or what is going to happen to us exactly.   

Starting your life over can be a big or small step no matter how you look at it.  It really is a big step to say "I am starting over" , But its the small steps that get us there.  So many of you wonder why I want to start over.. I can say this for positive.. I don't want to change everything, I don't want to change anything with my three beautiful children.

What I can say is that certain things happened In the time frame from When we landed for April's Florida trip and came home and worse after ( please know I am not speaking of April's surgery) that changed a lot for me. I have been asked why I'm now using Seyfried as my last name by several people and the answer is because I am not staying married.

God guided me to find the truth out one day... And I mean the whole truth !!! It was something I was more than shocked by... I don't even have words for it but I press on.  I keep moving and nothing will push me down again, I won't let it !!  So I am starting my life over now !

How do I go about this ?  That is a great question, I asked myself that same question so many times.. and i realized its a matter of not looking back.. not looking back at the bad things in the past or the good things even.  I am looking at what i have right now and I am happy with my life because i am not being hurt.  This is the first time i have ever said "I am starting over".  Many other times i said  I give up, or something else however not this time.. I have taken the right steps this time and its hard to explain how i did that..

What have i done different is:

• Thought more of myself.. I know i am worth more than what i was getting.
• Got a hobby I love, My jewelry.. And it helps my nerves and it is enjoyable
• My kiddos.. We are different now.. how do i explain this, They can express themselves to me now and it is different is such a wonderful way. 
• I am living life to the fullest (as much as possible) in the way I want to, not the way someone else wants to.. Or wants me to

So yes i am doing this and even though what happened was a blow to my mind I am okay.. Did i cry? No.. Sounds crazy i know.. See  i have been put through so much already and this is just something that is in my book UNFORGIVABLE.. Its not something to cry over, Not something i got sad over, or even disappointed over.  I got mad is what i did.. I think if i looked in the mirror my face looked like a hot red cherry tomato.. Yes MAD !!  But i took the right course of action.. 

This being said.. I am using Seyfried as my last name and that is what it will remain.. It is not because I am with all this feminist stuff or anything like that.. its not because i want people to guess, it is because I don't want that other last name.. 

I hope everyone out there that is not happy turns their life around.. It can be hard but after you do it you can be a lot happier !! That is how i feel.. One last note :  If a voice in your head tells you to do something, listen to it.. Trust me.. Its guiding you to something important.. 

God Bless All 

Debbie

Standing up for others with disabilities

     There are millions and millions of people in this world living with disabilities and many of them hate to even say that they have one, Some can't help it because it shows and I know many people that know they have one but are still in denial of it.  I have a disabilities and I let them shine through because they are what defines me, what makes me up, and what have actually made me the person I am today.  I always say to myself and i have told others this too, If they don't like me, or can't accept who i am, there is the door and don't let it hit you on the way out.
   
      Many People it is not that easy for, I totally understand that because it wasn't for me in a very long time.  I had to admit to myself that, Yes i have these problems, I am going to have them most likely the rest of my life and This Is ME !!  We all have to learn something and that is how to stick up for the children and adults that are being hurt because of their disabilities.  I have seen some examples of people doing this and I Love it.. We are all one as a country.. No different no matter what is wrong with one, but the way I look at it is that we are not different, we are equal and we are all the same.

     Here is a wonderful story of how just one person can help and has helped already..   Kelvin Moon Loh , A Broadway Star was doing a show (the king and I) and a woman brought her autistic child to see the show with her.  Well it didn't go well and people were very rude to the mother saying different things and even though she was trying to keep her child quiet it wasn't working. ( Now if you think about this, If he could hear from the stage what these people were saying.. They had to be speaking pretty loud. )   Kelvin wanted to do something so he made a post on facebook on Sept 23rd 2015 and it told his exact feelings in it.  Good for him for doing this because what he did write really needed to be said !  Here is the link to the article below.

http://www.scarymommy.com/broadway-star-defends-mom-who-brought-autistic-child-to-show/
   
      I personally think there needs to be more people willing to do this, willing to put themselves out there to stand up to others and show how they feel.. I want to share with you some facts on people with disabilities.. Did you know 2/3 of British people feel uncomfortable talking to people with disabilities ?  Also still 1/5 of 18-34 year old people have admitted they have avoided talking to a person with a disability altogether because they are afraid they may say the wrong thing.

     Yes those are statistic's but there still there and large numbers.. If your reading this and you don't have a disability then I want you to know that, I have a seizure disorder and also have Tourette Syndrome.  When someone hears the word tourettes they automatically say to me "Do you swear a lot" No I don't.. But make me mad and i will, lol .. I actually don't have that type but I do know a few people that do and it is fine, because i get that they can't help it.  My daughters have some disabilities and they actually handle them well..

• Joy my oldest is 16 and can be quite a challenge sometimes but that is because of these disorders, let me explain her disabilities to you..

                 1 -  Tourette Syndrome - Joy's tourette's are not being controlled by medications at this time because  her medicine she was on wasn't helping her so the Dr. said stop it and she is going to a new neurologist at the movement disorder clinic in Albany so hopefully they can figure out a better medicine for her.  Joy does have a very mild for of the swearing with her tourettes.  The actual name for when you have the swearing is called " Coprolalia "  Not many people know this unfortunately.
               
                2- Bi-Polar Disorder - She is on a med for this and it is helping her, I believe this is why her moods go from happy to sad in second but i have taught her breathing to help it.

• April is my 14 year old and the middle child.. She has a more sever disability and if you are a friend of mine you do know that for sure.

                1 - Chiari Malformation. This is a difficult one to describe so i will leave a link for it but normally with Chiari you need 1 maybe 2 brain surgeries, but April has had to have 5 so far.  This first link is a link to a page I made about all the surgeries and other stuff April has been through so far,  

https://www.facebook.com/aprilschiaribattle?fref=ts

                 This next links are pages on Chiari Malformation it gives pretty good information.  Most likely better than i could describe :

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chiari-malformation/basics/definition/con-20031115

     Well I may have got of track a bit but i have always told my kids these things when they get upset about having "something wrong with them" or "being not normal"  as they used to put it and still do very rarely.. 

1. There is nothing wrong with you , You are special because those other people dont' have this.
2. Educate people like i try to do, Explain to them what you have and how it makes you feel. Try to make them understand
3. You may not see it but you may be more normal than they are..
4. Put a smile on that beautiful face and go out and face that world head on, don't let anyone or anything hold you back.. You shine !
5. Stand up for your friends or even other kids you see getting picked on if they are getting picked on, that makes you the bigger person, not the looser.

I wish every person would go by #5.. I do it whenever i see it happen.. I don't care if people want to say something to me or tell me to butt out.. I refuse to see anyone get picked on and I wont.. We live in America and that is my Freedom of Speech that I want to use and I will use it wisely !!  I hope we can take care of each other more and more A Simple Random Act Of Kindness goes a Long Way.. 

As i say that about Random acts of Kindness.. I will leave you with a beautiful link that shows a beautiful act of kindness.. God bless you all !

http://themighty.com/2015/09/deputys-simple-act-of-kindness-towards-man-with-disabilities-caught-on-camera/

Have a wonderful and Blessed Day.. 

Debbie 

https://www.facebook.com/debra.seyfried

Your child in pain.. The feelings, reactions, emotions and more...

Your child in pain... 

No one wants to have their child in pain, but when it does happen, and I pray for your sake it doesn't , your body and mind goes through so many emotions that it is almost impossible to control it, but as a single parent I learned that this is a part of life that some of us do need to deal with and it makes us stronger.  Hopefully this will help others.

     My children mean the world to me, I would put my life on any line for them.  I would do anything for them not to be hurt, in pain, or go through anything that will leave a physical or emotional scar.  I believe any loving parent would do this though, A parents love cuts through everything i want to say, However sometimes as a parent you can't stop your child's pain and when that happens you start to feel numb inside, you want answers, you want to stop it.... You can't !

     My daughter has been through 5 major brain surgeries and to say it has been hard on her is an understatement.  I have been there for all 5 to hold her hand, give her positive words, tell her God has this and you can do this, you are strong !!  I can honestly say though when you can do nothing to stop the pain you feel... Helpless !  I can't stand that feeling as a mom.  I have broke down crying many times, I talked to Chaplin's because I felt i needed guidance at some point's.  I spoke with several, several other parents that were on that same floor and their child was very sick too and they didn't know what to do either so we talked to each other and shared stories, yes it helped for a little while.

     I would have to say this last surgery was almost the worst one, April is 2 1/2 weeks post op from surgery and she is still in pretty severe pain.  The worst part is she is on several medications for her pain and she will take them but they only help for about 1, maybe 2 hours max.  I have called her neurosurgeon's office and she will be seen in a couple of days but never has she been in this much pain after a surgery or going home with this much pain.  

     I have been asked by a few people how I am doing and I say "I don't know how to even answer that question" because honestly,  I don't.. I worry, I am sleep deprived, I feel sick because i can't stand to see my children in pain, I'm numb sometimes.. I catch myself staring out into space.. I want to take her pain away and put it inside of me.. 

     When someone says she will be okay, I shake my head because they don't know that, they are just trying to assure me and I don't want to be assured, I want to see the pain go away and see her smiling face looking at me.  I get mad, not at anyone in particular but in general because i see so may little children that are sick and Its not their fault, why should they be suffering?  No answer because only God has that answer.  I keep praying every night that tomorrow is going to be a better day and I am so hopeful it will be.  

     A week ago when we were getting ready to leave the hospital i was walking down the hall bringing some stuff to the car and there was a woman sitting there looking lost, She said hi and asked me if i needed help, I said i was okay but i asked her if she was okay ?  Her child was in surgery and she said she felt like screaming, crying, and she felt like she could have fallen right down because she couldn't help her.  I understood it was a feeling of hopelessness and i told her i felt that way too many times.. She ended up coming downstairs with me and getting a cup of coffee and i told her that I go to the chapel ad it helps me when i feel that way.. I also told her to talk to a Chaplin because they will help you though a lot.. I'm not sure if she did but when i came back by there she wasn't there so maybe it helped maybe not..

     So yes when your child, or someone Else's is in pain many things happen to you too.. I never in a million years thought I would be watching my daughter deal with something like this but she is strong and I thank god every day that he is watching over her and giving her the strength to deal with all of this.. She will not give up and she is so amazing like so many other kids I know.. God Bless Their Hearts!!

Always keep your head up and smile.. I learned this one thing is what will keep kids positive even if they can tell your scared, or upset.. They know you are behind them and with them 100% , Its hard trust me on that one, but if you can do it, you all come out the winner !  <3

https://www.facebook.com/debra.seyfried

Why? We have all asked the question... So what's the answer ?

Why? That is the question we have all asked so many times about so many different things..

What is the answer ? That's where it get's interesting, I think...

     I'm sure you have said many times in your life so far, " Why is this happening to me ?" and you want a answer but you don't get one, Why ?  There is is again.. That word.. WHY..  

I personally have had my share of Why's and i will share them with you, Let me just start with my first one..  When i was younger I knew something was wrong with me, However we didnt know what so the doctors all said I was a "Nervous Child".  Yes they classified me as Nervous.. Now if you know me at all, This was so far from the truth, I grew up on a farm, I watched cows eat and when they eat.. They eat slow !!! I loved my life on the farm.. We had 3 Wheelers we drove through the field and had a awesome time.  I was a devil in plain English.  (Yes this is where joy gets it but i was a good devil, lol ) So back then these were my Why's..

• Why do i have to move all the time ?
• Why can't i sit still when were in a reasturant ?
• Why do i make that weird noise ?
• Why don't people want to be my friend ? Is it because im weird ?
• Why me.. Why ?

     Then when i hit 15 I had my first seizure  and i found out that the movements were called Tourette Syndrome a whole new set of Why questions started with the ones above, I will give you a few..

• Why do i have to have Tourettes ? Why do I have to have Seizures ?
• Why do i have to be the weird one ?  
• Why can't i just drop out of school like i want to ?
• Why is it wrong that i hate these things about myself ?

     So yes I had so many Why's back then it drove me crazy.. I asked my mom some of them and she didn't have an answer so she said I was normal, Always tried to tell me something to make me believe in myself.  That was great but I wanted answers and No one could give them to me.. I eventually gave up on answers and adjusted the best possible and realized that this is part of me and i won't let my disabilities take over me, I will take over my disabilities, and that is what I did..

     I grew up, Had children and raised them by myself, I never worried about support, we got by and I would do anything for my kids and still will.  When your a parent its a whole different ball park of Why's especially when you have a child that is sick or has a illness.  Lets put it this way it breaks me when one of my kids are running a fever so going back about 5 years I found out Joy has tourette syndrome also.. I blamed myself of course, No that was not the right thing to do and i do realize that but when you are the parent that actually has that disorder yourself you seem to do that.  So in the last 5 years I have asked these "why's" ..

• Why does Joy have to struggle with Tourette Syndrome like I did ?
• Why Does April have so much pain ? What is wrong with her ? (this was before i found out about her chiari malformation)
• Why are they running in and out of this room getting different doctor's to see April ?
• What is Chiari Malformation and What are they going to do for it ?
• Why does she have to have brain surgery ? I am so scared !!
• Why won't they give me an update, she has been in surgery for over 10 hours ?
• Why is April going through this, she has never hurt anyone or anything ?  Put me through this pain, its not fair !
• Why is Chad in pain ?  Why does he have a double hernia ?
• Why does she need another surgery ?  And then another and another ??
• Why wont these surgeries end ?  Why can't she be a normal child, she wants to know ?
• Why wont this pain stop ?  It's been 14 days since surgery, I hate seeing her in pain !
• WHY SHOULD ANY CHILD SUFFER ?? WHY SHOULD THEY BE IN PAIN ? ITS NOT FAIR !!

     Okay, I have asked so many more but these were some of the big ones.  You may be asking yourself what is the point of this ?  Well I came to a conclusion after speaking to one of the Chaplain's there and he told me his story about his life.. It was so amazing to me that it made sense to me not to ask why to so many things (even though i still do but then I remember what my conclusion is..)  See i have spoke to many, many Chaplin's at Albany med and they all were very helpful to me, Some listened to me, some talked to me and offered me ideas, some told me their life story.. All of it helped.  

     Here is what i want to say though.. When something big happens to your child, a family member, yourself, or someone else you are going to say Why is this happening ?  Well I have come to the conclusion that for about 75% of these "Why's" you won't be able to get an answer from someone, Only God has the answers.  You may be able to come up with the answer or a good idea of why if you think about it.  The answers have to really come from inside of you.  God does things for a reason.. We are not meant to know these reasons sometimes and maybe that is okay.  

     Let me give you a example of what i am saying, I have always asked this question..

• Why do i have to have tourette syndrome ?

My answer is one that i came up with by myself because it took years and years to realize it but i did.. 

• I believe I have tourettes syndrome because I was meant to educate people I meet about what tourettes is.. If i go to a school meeting for one of the kids the first thing i will say is " Hi, I am Joy's mom Debra, If you see any movements its just tourettes syndrome, If you don't know what that is I can tell you.."  

     Its actually very shocking at how many people do know now, back when i was 15 it was something no one knew of, There are a good portion of people that don't know what it is and many say "if you don't mind telling me that would be wonderful."   The people that do know what it is I actually shock.. They look at me and say "Really ? Normally people don't want to talk about this subject".  So yes i think i am here to educate some people and to be an example also for my children, So they know not to hide behind their disability because they are equal to every other person out there.. We are all equal no matter what !

     So to end this we all have "why's" but if you cant get a answer by asking someone you may need to dig deep or just letting go, I have many questions I have to let go of because there really is no answer, at least for now..   Hopefully this will make sense to some of you and possibly help someone.. I felt like i wanted to write it because i have struggled for a long time with questions (since i was about 6 years old) and now that i am 38 I figured some stuff out.

God bless everyone

Debbie

https://www.facebook.com/debra.seyfried

This is Me.. In black and white.

I recently found out from talking to one of my good friends through messenger here on Facebook that he really didn't know much about me.  I mean these were things I thought for sure he knew and then It hit me , who knows "me" ?  Many of you may be thinking one thing and yes maybe it looks or sounds that way on facebook or in person but it could be totally misinterpreted. I don't like when things are misinterpreting so here's my thought... I am going to put it here for you to read in black and white, and take in (if I shock you with any information) .  So please ask questions, comment, I would love to hear what you think. I willanswer any question you have. Also I will put in some links for a few things... look at them , you will see why I say that.

The basics...

•  My full name is Debra Jean Seyfried (now Feathers)  - my mom loved Debbie Reynolds and that's who I'm named after..
• Im 38, married to my first love, We have 3 beautiful children.
• I'm optimistic, I always try to look at the glass half full no matter how bad things seem.
• I'm not skinny, I won't say I'm fat (I hate that word), I say pleasantly plump.. and trying to loose currently.

Interesting medical information..

1. I am a epileptic, I have been since I was 15, I had my first seizure 1 month before I turned 16 (major bummer) , I wanted to drop out of high school after this but I had 1 friend that helped me through this hard time and I graduated.

• I have Tourette syndrome, if you don't know what this is here is a link. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm. I will say this now.. It doesn't make me swear , people that make me angry make me swear.. it's that simple..  My Tourette started around age 5 and I was labeled "a nervous child"  I wasn't though..  (Tourette syndrome is a whole blog in its own.. trust me !)
• I have anxiety... Seriously though people, who doesn't ??
• I have several medical issues.. too many to list here..
• Brace yourself for this one..   I take 20 pills every morning, 11 pills every night. For a awful dreaded total of 31 pills !!!  I hate them so much, they take over my body sometimes, I'm exhausted , irratable, foggy brain, and much more..  

1. The one medication I take is called Klonopin…it's for my Tourette syndrome.  DON'T USE THIS IF IT'S EVER PRESCRIBED FOR YOU. PLEASE !!!!   I take 7mg a day, I used to take 8 mg  but I got off 1 pill (1mg) and it took four years to do it.. I was a mess.  This is a controlled substance, I wish I was never put on the medicine. Please look at this link.. http://www.cchrint.org/2011/06/02/americas-most-dangerous-pill-klonopin/  They are now calling this medicine America's most dangerous pill for a reason. People are dying from overdoses and other stuff. It's a great article and I urge everyone to read it...  When a doctor hears I'm on 7mg of it I always get the same response "how are you standing?"    I'm too used to the medication...

• I have panic attacks if I'm in a crowded room for a maximum of 5 minutes (seriously don't put 8 people in a room with me, I will go crazy.. I'm freaking just thinking about it...) Yep, ok I seriously had to stop for 5 minutes cause I was going into one.. next subject please.
• I am permanently disabled
• I wear dentures , tops and bottoms. Hate them. Uncomfortable. The reason I had to get them is my first seizure medicines rotted my teeth from the inside out.. Yea they looked fine if you looked at them but the pain was horrible. They rotted at my nerves inside first
• I've had many surgeries.. A total of 9 major ones. Can't count the minor ones...
• I had gastric bypass surgery and I regret it to this day !  Why? Because it almost killed me. Go figure I'm in that percentage of people that shouldn't have it.

My crazy pregnancies (as I put it)

• My first pregnancy was not bad except when it came down to being induced because I was over a week late and it took 4 days (yes I'm serious four !!!) Till I finally delivered..  I was in labor day and night..  I switched doctors after this. Lol
• My second pregnancy was complex to say the least, I started by having the worst morning sickness known to woman .. little did I know I would have it for 9 months…  I had gallstones so I basically kept nothing down...

1. Also my second pregnancy was for identical twins and unfortunately in my 5th month I lost one, I was having a boy and girl, I lost the boy. But being optimistic about it  I could have lost them both... thank you Lord I didn't. 
2. Labor for her was interesting, I was induced but 2 days went by and nothing. I went home , a week later we tried again and it worked but the nurse checking me said " call the dr. Asap we have a problem"  (of course, it's me, I'm not easy, lol)  Well the nurse said to me, she felt a hand instead of a head.. What !!!  Needless to say this called for a emergency c section and I got rushed down the hall with a nurse holding the baby up in me...  go ahead and laugh, I do now..    this is my Chiari Malformation daughter.

• Third pregnancy, I had no clue I was pregnant until I was 3 months along... Yep no morning sickness. Yeah !!  Although I was in shock. My grandmother knew before I did and don't ask how but she gets these "feelings" and 99% of the time she's right..  this is my boy (only boy in the whole bunch of kids 7 total )  he didn't want to make labor easy easy for me either. He was a planned c section but decided he wanted to come a month early. So yep another emergency c section. I had my tubes tied, burned and cut.. I was done.  I waited to see him all night. No or would bring him to me , he stopped breathing, they had to do CPR on him, I was a mess..  3 weeks later he came home and was doing well but was on a apnea monitor in case he stopped breathing again.  These machines go off all the time , 'll it really takes is the baby to shift and it misses one beat and it's scratching loud!!  So 2weeks after we're home it went off at 6am. I jumped like always and this time he was grayish blue. I was taught CPR and I did it and he came around , to this day I don't remember doing it (the nurses said I wouldn't)  he ended up having acid reflux and was choking on his formula .

With all this said, I love life !!   I just got married September 28th 2014 to my best friend, love of my life, and father of my children. My husband and I both agree we couldn't have had a better wedding and wouldn't have changed a thing.  We had our problems in the past but got through them, and 20 yrs later I did finally marry my best friend !  

Nobody in this world can say they are perfect, if they do then their kidding themselves. I know my family isn't and I'm happy that were not. Our kids have medical issues, our middle child has had 4 brain surgeries but we're still going strong. Never let something or someone hold you back or put you down. I used to when I was younger but my disabilities have shown me I'm stronger than many people think I am. So are all of you.. I'm a person just like the anyone else on the street. We're all made the same. 

I tell my kids all the time , you are just as good as anyone else so don't think your not. Live life to the fullest and get everything you can out of it. The world really is your oyster, you just need to open it up and find the pearl. 

Love Deb

FRIENDS ?? Do we really have them ?

Well my friends... did the title make you curious ?  If it did Awesome because I wanted it to, why do I say this ?  Think about these things...

•  Have you recently looked through your friends list on Facebook ? I just did...

1.  How many people do you talk to even once a week ? Once a month ?
2. Are these friends dealing with something, life is hard. 

• Who starts the conversation ? You , them, both of you?

How do you actually define friendship ?  Everyone's definition is totally different.  I believe that a friend is someone that checks to see how you are from time to time, listens when you have a problem, will take time out of their crazy busy schedules for you if need them. They love you , it's simple as that !!

I'm not saying if a friend calls you and says "my hair dresser cut my hair a inch too short I don't know what to do?" (Yes I've gotten these calls) , You drop everything , run to their side, take them to dinner, etc... (you get the point..)   Here is a situation though, if a friend calls you saying they are ill or need surgery and they are scared about something important  ... Then you take time for them. That's what friends do.

I have real and fake friends on Facebook and people I see from time to time. I know the ones I can count on , if I ask just for a prayer, to ask them to listen, for advice..  Then I have the ones that no matter how much I try to contact them , I don't get a response from , they are most likely just on my friend's list to get information for other people (oh well I'm a open book normally)

I have deleted a few because it's not worth my time to deal with the childish behavior.  So here is what I want to say. If I have people that are negative Influences in my life, or want to question what I do all the time. There not my real friend's..  

I'm a protective person and when someone asked me the other day " Who is your best friend?"  I answered it in a second.. My Husband.. No doubt

If I had to count how many friends I actually have it would be a small number.  10 of you are close friend's that I met here on Facebook in groups and we talk daily. You accept me and you know who you are..
So here is what I want you all to know..

• I love my friends and will always do what ever possible to help you.
• These are my feelings not yours, so don't go erasing a lot of people from your friends list
• I'm always here, it may take me a bit to get back to you but I will.. promise !!
• Never let anyone put you down, your awesome !
• Love yourself because you really are your own best friend no matter what !!

I hope you all have a blessed day
Love Debbie

"I would rather have an enemy that admits they hate me, then have a friend that secretly puts me down"  -Unknown
https://m.facebook.com/debra.seyfried?_rdr

You never know what life is going to throw you..

Through the last 3 - 4  years I almost felt like my family was living in a soap opera except we didn't get the perks.. No pay, No fame, No FUN !!  It started when April our now 14 year old was always in pain and had very severe headaches. We started doing what I called Dr. Hopping because no matter how many specialists we went to they all kept saying one of the following...

• She's fine
• We will worry about this later
• There's nothing wrong with your daughter

She wasn't fine though, one day at a family party her legs gave way and she couldn't take more than 3-4 steps without her legs giving out and falling. That day started our journey, one I never expected but we're still here and going strong , thanking God daily for everything he has gotten us through. To this day April has had 4 brain surgeries, 2 Lumbar punctures.  After her first surgery in 2013 April became a make a wish child, her 1 wish was to go to Disneyland with her family, we were a month away from going and April got rushed into surgery again... Trip canceled !

Yesterday she has an appointment with her neurosurgeon and it was to determine when she would need to have fusion, I was scared because I know what this surgery entails and I hate to see her go through any more but it's a better option than paralysis.   We figured that she would need fusion either in 1 month or 3 months because of what the last MRI scans showed.  Before I left the house I did a few things. Prayed Hard, Sent a PM to someone special to ask them to say a prayer, and I belong to a awesome prayer chain group and they all chimed in !!

When I say you never know what life is going to throw you.. this is why...
April has gotten physically stronger on the outside and he was happy with how she's doing currently. He wants to repeat her MRI scans at the end of August and see what they show and see if there about the same or worse then make a decision. I asked him about the Make A Wish Trip and he said "Go have the time of your lives, you deserve it"  So....
We're going over summer vacation , I spoke with them already and I will vet a call on Monday to get this going !!

If I can say any words of wisdom right now they would be..

• Never give up ! 
• Pray, God hears you and loves you.
• Life has its ups and downs, but it will turn around if you let it
• Seize the day.. We don't ever know what will happen tomorrow
• Smile , and be happy !!

I wanted to share this in a blog , this is my first one so hopefully I did it correctly.  
If you would like to read about the majority of April's journey I have a page on Facebook it called April's Chiari Battle this is the link..
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=770594913018835&tsid=0.8036381935235113&source=typeahead
www.facebook/debra.seyfried